what I’m learning and loving: december 2019
I think that I typically just skip ahead to my end-of-the-year reflections, but that means that December gets a little neglected.
What I’m loving
Lazy, unstructured days. I took several weeks off of work (and everything else by the looks of our house) before and after Christmas. At the beginning of our break, I was sleeping 12+ hours a night. We are pretty ruthless with calendars (not planning too much) during basketball season, but even still, we were exhausted from our normal routine of work and school and extra-curriculars. I think this is true for most of us, but we don’t notice it until we take the pedal off the gas. I don’t take for granted the privilege of being able to take off several weeks of work and largely focus on my own rest and restoration.
Anxiety soother. I have been adding a droplet of this stuff to my morning water before coffee routine for a few months now. I wasn’t sure if it actually “did” anything, but I ran out in December – and definitely noticed. My anxiety tends to show up as a shorter fuse and that 2AM monkey mind, so I’m not saying I never have a short fuse or middle of the night wake-ups while taking this, I’m just saying that I noticed when I wasn’t taking it consistently. A bottle lasts me at least two months (Grant takes it sometimes too, so it is probably even longer than that), so it is well worth the $12ish to keep me feeling a bit more grounded.
Paint by sticker books. I wrote about these in a December newsletter, but they have saved many a day for us over winter break. I also love them to take along to basketball games for Maeve, who would drag a gigantic crafting bag everywhere she goes if I let her. She is satisfied with one of these instead, and it is so much easier to cart around.
What I’m learning
Share your expertise. My friend Jenny hosts a favorite thing party every December. You bring one of your favorite things (under $25) from the previous year unwrapped and tell everybody why you love it (then normal gift exchange rules apply). I always end up with some new thing or idea that makes my life better. The same Jenny told me once a few years ago that she always tries to clean her house before they go out of town because it makes her feel so much better to come home to a clean house. A few trips ago, I adopted this habit too, and it makes re-entry from vacation a bit easier (I need all the help I can get coming home from vacation).
So here’s where the lesson came in: we all have things that we’re passionate or curious about and, therefore, have learned quite a bit about, or seemingly obvious things that we do to make our own lives easier. We should share those things with each other because we all have some expertise to offer. Jenny randomly telling me about her cleaning-before-vacation habit has made my life easier and is something I probably never would have thought about on my own. Stephanie’s favorite thing was a meal deal at Fresh Market every week that I had never heard of, but I will now totally check out on our busiest weeks. Sara brought some Trader Joe’s skincare stuff that she swears by, and I didn’t even know TJ’s carried skincare stuff.
The point is: ask good questions about what your friends and family and co-workers are into and what obvious-to-them things that they do to make their lives easier because 1) it’s fun to learn new things about the people in our lives and 2) you’re likely to pick up a trick or two that will make your life better too.
Gift giving. On that note (of sharing things you do well), I LOVE to give gifts (and receive them). #lovelanguage. I have been told once or twice that I’m a good gift giver, and I’m going to share my secret in case you want to be a better gift giver in 2020. I create an Evernote note (alternately if you’re not an Evernote user, just use a note in your Notes app in your phone) titled “Gifts,” and I add ideas for people as the year goes. If I see an item on Instagram or elsewhere that I think someone I love will like, I add a screenshot/link in my Gifts note. If a loved one says they love my huge water bottle, I make a note in a my Gifts note. When it comes time for birthdays or Christmas, it makes shopping so much easier. And, because I think the best gifts are ones that make the recipient feel known and loved, giving a gift that shows them you’ve been paying attention does just that. (This entry is duplicated from my newsletter – sign up here, so you don’t miss the good stuff if you haven’t already!)
I can’t skimp on the grandma habits. I first heard about the so-called “grandma habits” in this great podcast episode. We went down to Black Mountain for new years, and we had a wonderful time (as always). And we stayed in a new-to-us place because we wanted to take Roxy along. It only had a queen-sized bed, and while it was comfortable, Grant’s shoulders + my shoulders do not fit on a queen-sized bed comfortably, which meant we didn’t sleep all that well all week. The “grandma habits” are the seemingly-boring stuff that we all need to do to function at our best: eat whole foods, practice good sleep hygiene, move our bodies, drink water. A week of not-great sleep, despite being in my favorite place, affected every thing. It was a good reminder of how important the seemingly boring stuff can be (as well as a reminder of, especially as I get older, I can’t afford to skimp on the boring stuff). Related lesson: we need a king-sized bed for all vacation stays from now on.
Are you keeping track of what you’re learning and loving? This practice has really helped me to see where I’m making progress and where I have room to grow. It would be a great practice to incorporate into your new year – and decade!
