100 things that worked for me in 2020

I did this last year, and I loved the practice. So I’m doing it again – mostly for myself but posting it here in case it’s helpful for you too. Despite 2020’s challenges (waves her hands around frantically to indicate nearly everything), there was still much that worked for me and for our little family too.

A big part of figuring out what is important to me is looking back on things what’s “sticky” – what lessons stick, which rituals stick, what memories stick, etc. This is what is so helpful for me about the “what I’m learning and loving” monthly practice. Looking back helps me create more space for those things in the season ahead that stuck with me most from the season just passed.

So here goes, 100 things that worked for me in 2020:

1. Time at home. I loved being literally at home for most of 2020 and having Covid as an excuse to say no to so much. I realize that other people hated this, but it actually really worked for me. I got enough socialization via Voxer, texting, and FaceTime – not to mention the three other people I live with. I’m not sure what this means for things on the other side of Covid, but I’m paying attention.
2. Saying “no” more and as a complete sentence. I have miles to go on this one, but I’m doing better.
3. Writing more. I am working on a book about the benefits of living seasonally, and I ramped up my newsletter this year. Regardless of what happens with the book or how many people do or don’t read the newsletter, the increased word count has been good for my mental space and figuring out what I actually think and how I actually feel.
4. It was a great year for sitting on out butts in front of the TV! We got sucked into and loved the following: Outlander, Ted Lasso, Last Kingdom, Schitt’s Creek again (even better the second time around), Kim’s Convenience, Pinky Blinders – and we watched all of the Star Wars, Mandalorian, and Anne of Green Gables together as a family.  
5. Morning smoothies. Food – like everything – was weird this year. Smoothies helped when I got sick of cooking or thinking about food, which was often, especially in the spring and summer.
6. Working from home. I have loved working from home and would be fine with never going back into an office again. As a bonus, I actually was way more productive too.
7. A stripped-down skincare routine (see the bottom of this newsletter if you want deets).
8. Air drying/doing nothing with my hair. I have really fine hair, so I’ve always blow-dried it to make it look fuller. But on the first day of quarantine back in March, I decided to see how long I could go without blow drying (or straightening or curling) my hair. I made it until November when I had an important meeting via Zoom, but what I learned was that my hair really likes being left alone. I got my hair cut over the summer, and my hair person was like, “what are you doing with your hair?! It’s so healthy and full!” So I won’t be going back to a hair routine anytime soon.
9. Cold showers. Admittedly, these are far easier to stick with in the summer versus the winter, but I’ve been doing a cold shower at least five times a week since April. I do think it helps me sleep better and have a little bit longer fuse throughout the day.
10. Tinctures for mental health. I make a few tinctures of my own to supplement, but I always have these three on hand that I take every morning: Inflamma Response, Shatavari, and Anxiety Soother. I put a droplet of each in a large glass of water and gulp it down. It tastes terrible, so the faster, the better.
11. Getting outside every day. 
12. In addition to the blow dryer, I basically gave up bras and makeup for most of 2020. It was glorious for me! You do you, as always, but 2020 was such a wakeup call for me about the things that I do due to societal expectations instead of what I really want/what feels good.
13. Having a better plan around Funky Farms. Because of Covid, we had more time to daydream about the gardens and other stuff around our place, and then we had more time to actually do it. We crossed off a lot of things that had been on our “Funky Farms To Do List” for years in 2020.
14. Eating seasonally. This has been working for us for years, but it was extra noticeable in 2020 because we have a different rhythm of meals based on the season we’re in, so we’re less likely to get sick of stuff. This makes me realize that I need to update this meal planning post because some things have changed since I wrote it originally.
15. Having more time to try new things. I was able to try new things in the kitchen and the garden just because there was more unstructured time to do so. I love learning new things, so I need to carve out more time for this kind of “play” in the future.
16. Yoga nidra. Favorites in this newsletter.
17. Morning movement. Our sleep schedule has been weird this year, but even a minute of movement right when I get out of bed helps start the day off better. I also refined my morning practice a bit so that it takes around eleven minutes of mostly mobility with some asana (yoga). If I get to it, I’ll video it and share it here.
18. Putting myself in timeout. I’ve always done this at times, but with the size of our house and all of the togetherness this year, I had to do more of it – just telling everyone that I needed a minute or seventeen to myself and go for a walk or hide in the closet. It was good for me to pay more attention when I was getting irritated, and it was good to model to the kids how to feel my feelings without taking everyone down with me.
19. Cooking therapy.
20. Half caff coffee. On the list last year, still working for me this year.
21.  Walking lots. I had a goal to walk/run 2,020 miles in 2020. I did not get there (why does Apple make this so hard to calculate by the way??), but I walked a ton during 2020, mostly on the trail a half mile or so from our house. It saved my sanity on many a day, and because Grant and I find excuses to walk a lot together, I think it was really good for our relationship at a time that was otherwise very stressful.
22. Reading for pleasure only. I didn’t count, but I had to have read 50 historical romance novels this year. I didn’t read them to learn anything. I just read them because they helped me escape for a bit and were guaranteed to put me in a good mood. We all use something(s) to escape. I think the problem arises when either we don’t recognize that is exactly what we’re doing or when we let what we’re using to escape take over our lives and our values. This is true of booze or shopping or overworking or zoning out on Netflix. 
23. Keeping a foam roller by the couch. I always have great plans about doing more mobility work while I’m bingeing Netflix, but then the couch is so cozy. I started keeping some therapy balls and a foam roller on my side of the couch, and even just five minutes of myofascial release makes a big difference in how I feel.
24. This massage thing that I keep raving about. We leave it behind the couch and all use it.
25. As much as I don’t want to admit, 2020 kept hitting me over the head that action trumps planning every time. I have a tendency, typically around things that I know I need to do to be a better human, to want to research and plan out things instead of just doing them, but the fact remains that just doing something beats a perfect plan that is never executed. The Nagoski sisters in Burnout kept saying that “wellness is not a state of being—it’s a state of action,” and that has stuck with me. When I can find the reserves to just do the thing instead of thinking about doing the thing, I’m better off.
26. I’m typically the social planner for most of our groups of friends, and I pretty much did zero social planning in 2020 – and I loooooved it. I’m so curious to see how I feel on the other side of things, but I think 2020 helped me finally accept that, at least at nearly 40, I’m more of an introvert than an extrovert.
27. So many conversations about what I don’t want to rush back to on the other side of the pandemic.
28. Our CSA with Farming Engineers. We haven’t done a CSA in a few years because we grow a lot of stuff ourselves and because we enjoyed riding our bikes to the farmers markets on Saturday when we needed something extra. But it was really nice have a set amount of veggies delivered to our front door every Thursday pretty much all year long, and I will be be writing the CSA check every January from here until forever.
29. The spring elearning was hard, but we also had a lot of fun together. We assigned the kids book/topic reports, and Grant held daily economics lessons and gym class. The times this year that we’ve been virtual have been really nice – the teachers are amazing with what they have come up with, the kids did great sticking to it, and we’ve all enjoyed a little less stringent of a schedule. Our kids really love their school, but I do wish there was some kind of hybrid option going forward, like maybe one week out of every month was virtual or something. I’m sure that would be a disaster for most working parents, but I sure would love it.
30. I read somewhere that “every hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after midnight,” and at some point in the middle of the spring, Grant and I decided that we needed to reign back on our sleeping habits. It was hard not to sleep in if we didn’t have early morning meetings and when the kids weren’t going to school, so we kept staying up too late (11 is late for us, so maybe take this with a grain of salt). But since then, we have *mostly* shut things down at 9:30, which gives us enough time to do all of the bedtime stuff and be asleep by 10. Even though sleep in 2020 was very weird, getting in bed by 10 consistently helped.
31. Yin yoga. The deeper I get into this practice, the more benefits I experience. (Join me every Monday at 7:30 for yin and meditation – online or in studio!)
32. Sourdough. Being home so much allowed me to finally get into a sourdough rhythm, and all four of us love it.
33. Finishing off the ceiling of our screened in porch. We basically lived out on the porch in 2020, so finally finishing off the ceiling was extra rewarding.
34. Grant’s aunt has a boat on the lake five minutes from our house, and we had so much fun taking it out for even just a few hours all summer long. We also had lots of fun pizza and pool dates with her on random summer afternoons. We always said it felt like vacation five minutes from home.
35. Mocktails with our DrinkMate.
36. The Bahamas and Maggie Rogers albums + Taylor Swift’s quarantine albums were my soundtracks of 2020, and they all helped keep me sane.
37. I have an aversion to driving in general (other than for vacations). I just would prefer to stay within biking distance of my house most of the time. So there were some real silver linings to #CovidSeason with all of the content moved online. We “saw” lots of great concerts and watched talks from authors/teachers I love that I probably wouldn’t have experienced otherwise.
38. I really miss being in person with our community at Roots of Life, but I have so appreciated the understanding and solidarity that it has provided this year especially. 
39. Lazy Saturday morning breakfasts – and I’ll be honest that not having to get ready to go to church on Sundays has its perks too.
40. Family dinners – and for much of 2020, family breakfasts and family lunches too. 
41. These “adulting scripts” have come in handy this year.  
42. Naming stuff. 2020 has shaken up so much, but I leaned into more of who I am in this season with less apologies for it, naming when I’m anxious or worried or pissed off. And that has helped.
43. The Pantsuit Politics Extra Credit subscription from Wild Geese makes me happy – and has introduced me to some great books I might have otherwise missed.
44. Podcasts. My podcast listening has been weird this year because our routines were all shaken up, but I listened to some great stuff anyway. The regulars remain: Robcast, Pantsuit Politics, On Being, The Daily, and Unlocking Us. I also listened to Seeing White (required listening), the 1619 podcast, and Nice White Parents, all of which were excellent, educational, and convicting.
45. Letting go.
46. Hoopla and Libby, the apps from our library for ereading, since the library was shut down for so long.
47. Eating at home. We have never been a family that eats out much anyway, but Covid has made eating out less attractive than ever. We make really good food at home (and we’re really picky about the standards for how our food is grown/raised), our favorite restaurant closed in November, and, even though we still want to support local restaurants, we’re enjoying trying out new recipes at home.
48. Grant’s grilling/smoking on his new PitBoss that he got for his birthday.
49. This season of parenting/the kids’ ages.
50. After our strict quarantine in March/April, we instituted family movie nights on Sundays. We eat dinner early, watch a movie or show together (some past favs toward the bottom of this newsletter), and then go to bed early to better set us up for the week ahead. I love how much we all look forward to it.
51. Journaling (when I did it). I have not been able to recover a regularly rhythm of journaling since pre-2020, but, when I did journal, I noticed a significant difference in terms of my ability to respond to what is going on instead of react to it. My go-to method is just to set a time for 15 minutes and make myself write down whatever comes to mind with no judgement or plan.
52. The garden. Always, but especially this year. 
53. List making.
54. Naming things. My “aha” about Covid season early in March became a mantra for us when any of us were feeling overwhelmed by all that was going on. 
55. Being excessively gentle with myself as much as possible – and noticing that, when I was able to better practice being kind to myself, more of that spilled over onto others.
56. A backpacking trip with Grant. We decided we really need at least one completely unplugged backpacking trip a year.
57. DrinkMate concoctions to help with my Waterloo addiction.
58. Making our own tea with dried herbs and plants. This was a really fun, creative outlet – that is also delicious and healthy too.
59. Letting “living seasonally” seep into more of our lives. I tend to beat myself up for not sticking to things. For example, for awhile in 2020, I was really enjoying running again, but then it got cold, and I wasn’t as consistent. I’ve been reminding myself a lot lately that perhaps certain habits and rhythms are for specific seasons just like foods are. Perhaps for me, running is a summer and fall activity. It doesn’t make it less worthwhile to only enjoy something for a season or too versus feeling like I have to do the same thing all year long.
60. Game and porch date nights instead of going out.
61. Quarantine chicks. Because of Covid, we had to just take what we could get, and they ended up being our favorite breed we’ve ever had (bovans).
62. 2020 was clarifying for relationships and priorities. I’m grateful to be going into 2021 with clearer ideas about both.
63. Celebrating the big and small things.
64. Quarantined/two week spring break, backpacking in the fall, and new year in Black Mountain. Duh.
65. My Kindle Paperwhite for bedtime reading because it doesn’t keep Grant up like my booklight does.
66. Teaching the kids how to make one of their favorite meals during quarantine and just generally forcing them to help in the kitchen more.
67. Lots of family game nights this year. Our go-tos: Rummikub (always), Uno Flip, Sleeping Queens, Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza. More favs in this post.
68. Paying attention.
69. Bike riding to downtown Noblesville, church (at least for a few weeks!), or our farmers market on “our” trail.
70. Making the very hard decision to send our kids to school in person in the fall of 2020. We wrestled with it all summer, but it turned out to be the right thing for everyone, especially the kids.
71. Building my “feeling my feelings” muscle. This one will probably be on my year-end reflection lists until I die (#Enneagram7problems).
72. Bringing our kids into more political conversations this year. Politics is how we structure our lives together, so while we try not get too partisan when we talk to the kids, we made a conscientious decision to discuss with them the happenings of the world and how they conflict or coincide with our own family values this year. I feel like we’re all better off for it.
73. I skipped out on my what I’m learning and loving rhythm for much of 2020, and I missed it. I definitely do better when I’m reflecting back at least monthly, if not more frequently.
74. No screen Mondays.
75. Saving lots and lots of seeds.
76. My Instant Pot.
77. Preventing sickness or anxiety instead of trying to play catch up after it is already here.
78. Drinking less alcohol.
79. Treating anti-racism work as a life-long marathon instead of a sprint. Or better yet, a relay that we fun during our lives and hand off the baton to the next generation when our lives are through.
80. Recognizing – over and over again in 2020 – how many of the problems I – and others – keep struggling with are systems problems more than they are me not being disciplined enough helped me to be more gentle with myself and others this year.
81. Practicing gratitude.
82. Not traveling much. We went to Black Mountain several times this year, and we went camping this summer. That was the extent of our traveling, and I didn’t miss it.
83. Having things to look forward to, however small. So many things that we had planned for this year got cancelled, but it was surprising to me how we easily morphed from looking forward to big things like trips to looking just as forward to smaller things like bike rides and pool dates.
84. Catching lots of sunsets this year while heading to the backyard with Grant for some birding + a break from the kids.
85. Lots of great books this year (list here), despite it also being hard for me to read anything denser than a romance novel for much of it.
86. Family hikes even before quarantine, but especially for the duration of #CovidSeason.
87. Voxer. Voxer has helped me to more feel connected to friends and family for several years now, but it was especially necessary this year because we couldn’t physically be together. I noticed that I still felt really connected to the people I was Voxing with versus the people that don’t use it. I love how it is on my time so I can easily do it whenever works for me and hearing the other person’s voice helps too.
88.  Celebrating 15 years of marriage in our craziest year yet – and feeling more connected than ever.
89. Chugging a full sixteen ounces of water before coffee every morning.
90. Madame Vice President Harris.
91. Audiobooks. I’ve never been very good at listening to audiobooks, but for some reason, something just clicked this year, and I listened to several that I loved. The kids and I looooved: Pax, A Wrinkle in Time, Clayton Byrd Goes Underground, and pretty much any Neil Gamman short story. I loved Burnout and The Practice on audio, both of which I read first; I discovered that for the books that I really want to sink into my psyche, it’s best if I read them and listen to them.
92. Taking naps. Practicing Sabbath.
93. Reading poetry.
94. Boundaries. Covid gave us an easy excuse to better shore up some boundaries that we knew we needed to put up but were nervous to, and it was helpful to see how the world didn’t end when we held the boundary.
95. Masks. I keep saying that, on the other side of this, at least 32 percent of the grieving I have to do is the people (some of them friends and family!) who refused to wear masks, most of whom would call themselves Christians. You know the people who are supposed to follow the guy who said the greatest two commandments are to love God and love your neighbor? Anyway, I actually don’t mind masks and plan on wearing them during flu season for the rest of my years.
96. Quitting the gym. We have had a pretty nice garage gym setup for years, but it wasn’t until I couldn’t go to the gym that I realized that I didn’t really miss it much. My home workouts are so much more efficient, less germy, and they require no commute time. 
97. Our place. Our home itself got a little cramped at times during quarantine, but the space to spread out outside, away from each other and away from anyone else, made me SO grateful.
98. Our dinner ritual.
99. Twenty second hugs with the kids at minimum twice per day but often more than that.
100. Minimalist or no shoes. I either wore very minimalist shoes or went barefoot for most of 2020, and my whole body thanks me for it.

I came across Theodore Roethke’s poem “The Waking” this year, and this line keeps playing on repeat at random times, especially this month of January as I reflect back on 2020: “I learn by going where I have to go.” We have to practice new things, try things on, do stuff – and then reflect on it – in order to learn where it is we need to go.

I’ll be sharing my “what didn’t work for me in 2020” list in my newsletter – so sign up if you want to read that list instead!

Here’s hoping that after all of the opportunities for learning and changing our minds in 2020, we are more ready than ever for this new year ahead.