february 2021: what I’m learning and loving

Happy March! Even though we’re a third of the way in (I blame the puppy on the delay), I still like to look back and reflect on the month that has just passed…

What I’m loving

My new desk. Since we’ve moved here, I’ve used this bought-on-Craigslist Ikea desk stuffed into the corner of our room. It was falling apart and not at all conducive to deep work. The kids were home for virtual learning all of January, and at some point during all of that, I had a breakdown and ordered a new desk. Having a more organized work space actually leads to more organized work. Who knew??

This five-year journal. I’ve used a smaller five-year journal for the last few years off and on, but the lines were so close together that I felt like I could never get my words to fit on the lines. I saw this one and have actually been sticking to a nighttime journaling routine for the first time in a long time. Each day has five lines, so I’ve been journaling for just a few minutes before bed under the following categories: a win, loss, gratitude, and memory from that day.

Iris&Romeo Best Skin Days. Melissa Urban raves about this stuff, and I bought myself some for Christmas. I am still doing my very minimalist Covid skincare regime, but I really like this stuff. I try to use this mineral sunscreen everyday, but I often forget. For some reason, I’m more likely to wear Best Skin Days 1) because it feels so light and 2) because I really like efficiency and the idea of it doing five things at a time. It is a little pricey, but I love the ingredients and that it serves as five separate products in one. Use my referral link to get twenty percent off if you want to try it!

Think Again. I have been listening to this new one from Adam Grant, and I can’t stop talking about it (Grant and the kids have been rolling their eyes at dinner when I keep using something from Think Again for my “what I learned today”). I think this ability to embrace, as Grant says, “the joy of being wrong” is a key to our own individual growth and evolution, but also our growth and connection as communities depends on our ability to change our minds. Read it pronto and let me know what you think.

Cinnamon toast. Because our chickens lay the best eggs in the land, we always have local bacon in the freezer, fermented veggies in the fridge, and homemade sourdough on the counter, we very rarely go out for breakfast and brunch because, as Grant says at least twice a week during breakfast, “why would we ever go out?!” However, I was missing Patachou’s cinnamon toast a few weeks ago, so I started making some on Sunday mornings on my sourdough to spice things up. I just layer on some Kerrygold on a slice of sourdough, a bit of cinnamon and sugar (about 1/3rd sugar to 2/3rd cinnamon), and then toast it under the broiler. It’s the perfect simple comfort food that elevates our Sunday morning breakfasts.

Yoga nidra. I always double down on yoga nidra in the fall and winter, practicing at least three times a week. But it has been especially important lately as we find ourselves in this weird in-between season of the pandemic. Scroll down under “lastly” in this newsletter for my recommendations to practice at home or join me virtually or in person the first Wednesday of the month.

What I’m learning

Grandma habits are more important than ever. I don’t know if it’s that we’re coming up on a year of the pandemic or me just getting older or what, but I have been forced to pay extra attention to the grandma habits in February: forcing myself to drink more water, going to bed even earlier than normal early winter bedtime, eating more greens, and moving more than I’d like to in the winter if I’m honest. I just have far less margin than usual (or maybe this is the new normal?), and if I try to stay in front of it with wise grandma habits, I am a much more pleasant human to be around.

Inclusion first. I’m on my company’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Council, so I try to read a variety of different resources on the topic. A coworker mentioned that he preferred that we put inclusion first because, if you prioritize creating a more inclusive culture, equity naturally follows, and increased diversity comes organically. I can’t stop thinking about how this shift in focus is likely true in all of communities. That if we focus and prioritize not only making people feel included, but truly taking an interest in one another, other good fruit naturally follows. It seems like a much more organic way of growing diversity too.

Celebrate your growth. A kid said something really terrible about one of our kiddos a few weeks ago in their hearing. It really sucked. But we tried to practice what we preach: we encouraged our kiddo to let it all out – the crying and cussing and sadness and anger. Then we talked it through, we told them how awful it is when stuff like that happens and shared when it had happened to us, we offered them some scripts of what to say if it happens again, and we talked about how we can continue to act in alignment with our values even when people say shitty stuff about us. Our kiddo got up the next morning ready to try again, to recognize the hurt that the kid that said the shitty thing is probably carrying, to seek out new friends who don’t talk to people like that.

Parenting is the most impossible and yet mundane job, so most of us spend our time beating ourselves up about how we’re doing because the stakes are so high and yet so many of us are doing it/have done it that I don’t think we as adults do a great job of celebrating our growth, especially when it comes to parenting.

But in this situation, Grant and I both were able to see how the same situation would have gone differently when we were children, not through any fault of our parents but just because of our own increased self-awareness. We were able to see how we could use our years’ worth of therapy and self-work to break cycles of behavior that had hurt us – so that we don’t repeat those patterns with our children. That is deserving of a pat on the back, even – especially – if it is just us giving ourselves our own gold star. 

Try it for yourself – leave a comment below about something that you have evolved or grown on in the past year or so (I’m sure you could make a list pages long, after the past year). I would looove to help celebrate you!